Jon Arbuckle Is Filthy Rich

4

2007-03-18

From time to time, I enjoy reading the comic strips as I glaze over the morning news. Being a canine myself, I love to read the antics of comic dog stars Marmaduke and Snoopy. I even scan Garfield to catch the antics of my favorite supporting comic character dog Odie. However, after reading Garfield all these years, I have begun to wonder how much money Jon Arbuckle actually has.

How many times has Garfield completely destroyed Jon's house? That fat, orange tabby eats an astronomical amount of food, and he doesn't just snack on crackers and bread. Also, the last time I checked, lasagna is not in the same price range as macaroni and cheese. Once you start to analyze the situation further, I find that there is no way that Jon Arbuckle is anything other that filthy rich.

Will Jon ever learn? Will Jim Davis stop using the same drawing?

Garfield has now been terrorizing Jon for nearly 25 years. To get some statistics, let's say that Garfield destroys the house once a month (a conservative estimate) causing around $1,000 damage each time. We will also put Garfield's food bill at about $500 per week (an even more conservative estimate). With the magic of math, we find that in 25 years, using just two of the Garfield expenses, Garfield has drained nearly one million dollars from Jon's deep pockets. That's one million dollars wasted on a cat who neither loves or respects him. He barely even tolerates the guy. This large figure isn't even taking into consideration the extensive fines and penalties from the lawsuits issued against Jon from mailmen, neighbors, and late pizza delivery guys.

I also wonder where does Jon get his endless flow of cash? This man is only a cartoonist. Everyone knows Charles Schulz probably died with money gushing from his wahzoo, but the Garfield comic does not portray Jon as being the most successful man in the industry. At most, he is a lower-level cartoonist earning probably middle America type money.

Unless his parents were farming those special crops, I doubt that Jon inherited his money.

The money isn't coming from Jon's family either since Jon was raised on a farm by the epitome of American cornbread. My best guess for Jon's bottomless pit of money is that Jon somehow ran across a genie one day on the beach. Jon, using his three wishes, probably asked for loads of cash, constant companionship, and a unique way with women. The genie gave him the first one straight up, but then stuck it to Jon with the last two.

Now I know that Odie is as close to brainless as a dog can get, but he has to be the clear favorite if Jon ever needs to choose between cat and dog. So Jon, if you ever start looking at those household bills and want to "trim the fat" from the household budget, you know where to start.