The Iraqi Black Knight

4

2007-03-18

Iraqi Information Minister Mohammed Saeed al-Sahhaf may be one of the greatest liars of all time. Even while his country finds itself riddled with bombs and soldiers, Sahaf will unquestioningly state that he has never seen an American set foot in Iraq. As tanks and platoons roll through Baghdad slaughtering what is left of the feeble Iraqi army, Sahaf turns his blind eyes to the camera and pronounces to the Iraqi people that they are wiping out the Americans by the thousands. Jon Lovitz couldn't even lie this good with his old pathological liar bit on SNL.

There are no Americans in Baghdad. There are also no microphones in front of me. Yeah, that's the ticket.

But where could he have learned the mastery of this craft? Is the Dis-Information Minister just naturally gifted or did he hone his talents over time? Could it be that he is just totally insane and can't comprehend that Iraq has no chance of winning this war? We may never know because he will surely die by one of the American bullets that somehow appeared in his head.

However, there is one thing that can offer a better insight into the mind of the Iraqi Information Minister. That one thing is the Black Knight from Monty Python and the Holy Grail.

Saddam only has a minor flesh wound. He's had worse.

After comparing the two, the similarities are quite remarkable. Both Sahaf and the Black Knight think that they are unbeatable when it is obvious that they don't stand a chance. Both cannot accept defeat when it is staring them in the face, smacking them around like a red-headed stepchild. And, both are getting their butts handed to them by a combination of troops from England and America.

The infidels are lying. My arms aren't off.

Here are our theories on what Information Minister Mohammed Saeed al-Sahhaf would say when asked to desribe the following pictures.

Here we see another Iraqi conquest. You can see the American pig-dogs running away after we bombed their bus. This is nowhere near Baghdad.

Another fake photograph showing the devils in their tanks. You can clearly see that this tank is in Cleveland, Ohio which is not Baghdad.

This is not an American raid on our palaces, but rather some of the thousands of POWs that Iraq has captured before the Americans could enter Baghdad.

This damage was not cause by the great Satan's bombs. We had a hurricane not named Baghdad come through the village.

The Iraqi Information Minister decides to call it a draw.